Must invade Iraq ... or somebody


We must invade Iraq.


After all, 15 of the 19 participants in the attacks upon the USA one year ago were citizens of that country, and the leaders of that country continue to offer financial support to terrorist organizations worldwide.


Oops, sorry, my bad. That's Saudi Arabia, not Iraq. Well then...


We must invade Iraq because the al-Qaida network, responsible for the atrocities of 9-11, was headquartered there, and we have been unable to apprehend its leaders or to prevent the return of al-Qaida operatives to the territory.


Er, no, that's Afghanistan. Well...


We know that the country has nuclear weapons, and that any one of the hundreds of terrorist camps within its borders could easily acquire a weapon of mass destruction to use against American targets.


Whoops, that's Pakistan. Um...


We must invade because they have used chemical weapons against their own people in the northernmost part of the country.


Or was it India that did that? Darn.


We are morally obligated to liberate the citizens of a country who are imprisoned when they support pro-democracy movements.


No, sorry. That's Egypt.


We must invade Iraq immediately to stop the proliferation of biological weaponry within its borders.


Dash it all, I'm thinking of Iran, not Iraq. Wait, I've got it.


For years, Iraq has blatantly violated the terms of United Nations Security Council resolutions by stockpiling weapons of mass destruction and developing further nuclear capability.


What? Oh drat, that's Israel! OK, how's this?


We must invade Iraq because it is the policy of this country to pre-emptively invade other sovereign nations when we perceive that they may pose a future threat to our security or our national interests.


Wait a second? Oh boy, I really screwed up this time. That's not America. I'm thinking of Nazi Germany.


Geoff Trowbridge The Elkhart Truth, 10/14/2002